The Most Horrific Thing Happened
by DBhawkguy30
Summary: Just a little humor between a Devil and his Demon.


Authors Note: Snort, I had to write this down after thinking what would the Devil think or do if this happened to him? It happened to me the other week when I laughed so hard...well I don't want to spoil it.

Just a little fun at Lucifer' expense lol

* * *

"Maze!"

There was no answer.

"MAZE!" Lucifer bellowed, his voice echoing in the large open space of his apartment.

The Demon finally appeared as if from no where and stalked toward him, her eyebrow arched in silent question.

"Yes?"

Suddenly unable to form coherent words the Devil started by pointing toward his empty glass, the computer and what Maze thought looked like spittle decorating the screen, keyboard and table. She glanced at Lucifer, still waiting for an explanation as to why he'd screamed for her. The Demon had thought he was being attacked by a group of human spawn the way he had sounded.

"Do something, Mazikeen!"

Maze frowned, folding her arms across her chest and stared at her creator quizzically. Had he finally gone mad? Had he overloaded on sex or booze or drugs? Had this human world finally broken the King of Hell?

"Do what, Lucifer? I don't even know why you called for me." She huffed in mild irritation.

"The most horrific thing happened, Maze. It was so grotesque, so utterly deplorable that I can't even put it into words." He explained, running his hand through his already unruly hair.

"What is it?" she asked, starting to feel the slightest hint of concern. She'd never seen him react this way. Perhaps something truly terrible had happened. Her eyes started scanning the room for danger, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary she turned back to Lucifer.

He stared straight at her, his expression serious for once. "I think something is wrong with my body."

Her eyes widened comically and immediately dropped to his crotch.

"No, no, don't be silly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that _area_." He smirked wickedly. "No, I was watching one of those delightful internet videos."

"Porn?"

"Yes, that, anyway this lovely looking chap knocked on the ladies door and used this _dreadful_ chat up line, I don't know why she fell for it, surely she wasn't that desperate, and-"

"Lucifer!" Maze interrupted sharply.

"Ah, yes of course," he continued, shooting her an apologetic smile. "So, they ended up going at it like rabbits, and while I was semi engrossed in this average sexual display, another video popped up on the screen showing this adorable little kitten." His expression softened, a small smile playing on his lips. "It was trying to jump on to a shelf, but it missed, spectacularly and dropped to the ground with a pitiful squeak." He chuckled, recalling the exact moment the poor little thing fell and turned to Maze whose jaw was hanging open completely mystified at what the hell had happened to her Devil. The one who punished sinners. He who indulged in numerous nefarious acts.

"That's what you called me up here for?" she asked, crossing her arms and glaring at her creator.

"No, not that."

Maze huffed. "Then what?"

"I didn't realise what was going to happen and I'd taken a drink, and when the little fellow fell I laughed, quite hard actually." His brows crinkled in confusion. "I then proceeded to cough and splutter, and then that's when it happened."

The Demon shrugged, finally reaching her limits for Lucifer' strangeness for one day. "What happened?"

He shook his head, still trying to work out how it occured. "The drink Maze." He gnawed on his lower lip anxiously. "It spurted out of my nose. Out my bloody nose, Maze. I mean, how is that even possible? Maze? Mazie? Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." She muttered, mostly to herself and vanished down to the club to deal with the drunk and frisky humans. Tonight it was preferred to dealing with a demented Devil.

"Well," he said to himself and turned back to the computer. "That's just marvellous. I'll just clean this up then shall I?" Lucifer called out to an empty room.

"Bugger."

The End.


End file.
